A Letter to the Woman in My Old Shoes
"To the woman currently living my old life"
I know you think you've won, but soon enough you will see that I actually did. You won a cheater, a narcissist and a manipulator. I have the best part of him... And she is the one thing that will never be yours.
Soon enough you will be walking in my old shoes... You have already slept in my old bed, drove my old car, and took over my old office. You even took down the canvas on the walls that I had made, and replaced them with new canvas that included pictures of you two.
I know he’s told you that I was the 'crazy' one, the 'unstable' one, and that you are the peace he’s been searching for his whole life, and that he has never loved anyone the way he loves you.
I know that feeling. I was the 'peace' once, too and the only woman he has ever truly loved.
I’m writing this not to warn you, but to tell you if he cheated on me with you, what makes you think you are any different, and he won't do it to you? I know you won't listen but to release the last bit of air from the tires of that old life.
Here is what I want you to know:
You didn't take my place; you took my shift. You took the late nights wondering where he is. You took the job of managing his moods and walking on eggshells so the house doesn't explode. You took the responsibility of all the stress.
The 'Crazy' is contagious. Right now, you’re calm and confident. But slowly, the gaslighting will start. You’ll notice things that don’t add up, and when you ask about them, he will make you feel like you’re losing your mind. One day, you’ll look in the mirror and see the same 'unstable' woman he described to you. I want you to remember in that moment: You are crazy. Crazy because you are not special.
You can have the 'Stuff.' You can have the seat at the table, the bed, the dog, the car, my old closet, my old drawers, my old office, the routine, and the history. You are wearing a costume that I outgrew. A costume of a person I no longer recognized. While you are busy trying to prove you can do 'me' better than I did, I am busy becoming someone he won't recognize now.
I used to be angry at you. I used to feel replaced. I use to not understand how you could be so careless and break up a family. Then I realized, you did not break up anything. It was already broken. As my head clears and my sobriety takes root, that anger has turned into a strange kind of pity. Pity that I now feel for you.
I’m not the one who lost. I’m the one who got out. You didn't steal my life; you stepped into my prison cell just as the door was swinging open for me. The prison you are now locked in is called KARMA. And you are being sentenced to a lifetime of hurt, pain and heartbreak.
I am not a catty person but you reap what you sow.
I would like to thank you for doing me a favor. You filling out those eviction papers for him was the best thing you could have ever done for me.
Until then, enjoy the view. I’m finally looking forward.
I truly wish you the best of luck. You are going to need it.
Sincerely,
Michele
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